Paulina Gretzky Slams Trolls, Sticks Up for "Fanfkingtastic" Dustin Johnson

February 2024 · 3 minute read

Paulina Gretzky is the daughter of Wayne Gretzky, a hockey player nicknamed The Great One due to his prowess on the ice.

But we hope Wayne doesn’t mind if Paulina borrows that moniker for a bit.

Because she’s most definitely earned it.

When it comes to responding to non-sensical haters of her fiance, Paulina Gretzky is most definitely The Great One.

See, the Summer Olympics are currently taking place in Brazil.

And, for the first time in over a century, golf is now an Olympic event.

But Gretzky’s fiance, Dustin Johnson, has chosen NOT to participate.

How come? In July, the second-ranked player in the world announced that he wanted to avoid Rio de Janeiro due to fear over the Zika virus and its affiliated health risks.

This is relevant to Johnson because he and Paulina would like to have more children after welcoming son Tatum in 2015.

Make sense, doesn’t it?

Zika is known to produce birth defects in children both to parents who have acquired it and Johnson was among 13 golfers who withdrew out of concern for the disease.

But then Johnson shared a photo of himself with Gretzky on a boat Saturday, prompting a swarm of negative Internet users to attack him on social media.

Check out this supposedly scandalous photo above.

Apparently Johnson is not allowed to have any fun family time now that he’s decided to skip the Olympics.

"Watch out for that zika Dustin," one idiot Instagram user wrote, while another added:

"Thanks for competing on our Olympic team.. Oh wait the lake was more important."

This was enough to spring Paulina into awesome, defensive action.

"Listen here you hating pieces of shit trolls," she wrote on Instagram.

"I’ll say it once he didn’t work his ass of his entire life for a gold medal he achieved his MAJOR and let everyone else do what they need to do and leave my fanf—kingtastic man alone [peace sign]."

Fortunately, an influx of fans also came to the couple’s defense, including one man who sounded way too reasonable for the World Wide Web.

"Listen guys. It’s just a nice picture of a loving couple," he wrote. "Calm down. If the guy didn’t want to go to Rio that’s his business."

That’s true. But that’s not even the half of it.

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Professional golfers travel 30 to 40 weeks every year. The elite players compete against each other 15 to 20 times per year.

So now they’re being asked to travel for another few weeks, simply to compete against the same field they face throughout the year anyway…

… only this time, they are asked to do it for FREE.

Golfers do not strive their entire lives to win a Gold Medal. This isn’t track and field or swimming or any Olympic-specific sport.

They have practiced an endless amount and dedicated their professional lives with the goal of winning Majors.

And Dustin Johnson just won his first Major, this year’s U.S. Open!

He did so after losing the same tournament a year ago, re-dedicating himself to the sport and trying harder than ever to overcome his previous failure.

And then he went home and basically got to have sex with the prom queen.

What’s more American than that?!?

You tell ’em, Taylor!

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