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This article is more than 12 years oldReaders' favourite photographs, songs and recipesSnapshot: My cousin's world-class wedding
I have known my cousin Ragini all my life. When I was born she was 14 and as I didn't have any older sisters she was like a big sister to me. As I grew up so did she, but it never stopped us from having a close relationship. We meet almost every summer in either California (where she lives) or India (where many of my relatives live). I first met her then boyfriend, Brandon, when I was only five or six and he once walked me to school (and got lost on the way home). Eventually they moved in together and decided to get married.
Last December, they had an engagement ceremony in our ancestral home in Kerala, India. All of Brandon's family dressed up in Indian clothes, watched traditional Kerala dance, ate off banana leaves and had a great time. We showed the Americans many customs from Kerala, and even my great-grandmother was present.
The wedding date was set for 2 July 2011 at the Berkeley City Club, near San Francisco. The interesting thing was that this ceremony was a combination of Hindu, Jewish and Christian traditions. There was a lot of stress before the event and the house was chaotic. As the time drew closer, we got dressed for the photographs. As I stood next to Ragini and Brandon, I thought about all the times I'd spent with her and came to terms with the fact that my "big sister" was now grown up.
I stood waiting with the other members of the procession wearing my traditional Indian clothes. I was given the responsibility of bringing the two rings engraved with the bride and groom's names.
I waited as people went in and then joined the wedding procession. I walked down the aisle and placed the rings on a table.
The parents of the bride lit the traditional Kerala valakku, or lamp. The groom's paternal grandfather read from the Jewish Sheva Brachot (Seven Blessings). The bride's grandmother read an invocation to the elephant- headed deity, Lord Ganesh. And the groom's maternal grandmother read an excerpt from First Corinthians 13:4-7.
Then the traditional Hindu Saptapadi (seven steps) was taken to mark the start of their shared journey. It is fascinating that two completely different religions each has seven blessings for wedding ceremonies. Usually the seven steps are taken around a fire but this time they incorporated the Jewish Circling with each blessing.
This was followed by the Pudava Kodukkal – the Kerala presentation of a gift of clothing from the groom and his family to the bride. After that Brandon tied the thaali (a leaf or heart-shaped gold pendant), which is a symbol of marriage, on to Ragini. I think the ceremony showed how the best of three religions can come together.
They said their vows to each other and I watched my mum trying not to cry. I felt really happy for them and was happy that even though Ragini is grown up and has a new life, she is still my cousin whom I love and have known since I was born, and that will never change.
Afterwards, the celebrations began. We sat down for the reception, and the parents and brothers of the groom and bride gave entertaining speeches. Ragini and Brandon watched embarrassing slideshows of photos from when they were young.
My cousin, whose parents were born in India, married someone whose grandparents came from eastern Europe. The wedding incorporated all the wonderful traditions and customs of the countries they belonged to. I began to realise how close we are, even though we come from such distant countries. My cousin is the first of us seven cousins to marry. I wondered how much closer the world would become as we got older. Ashwin Tharoor-Menon, aged 13
Playlist: Anthem for Anthony
Daniel by Elton John
Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane/ I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain ...
Whenever I wish to remember my cousin, I play the Elton John song Daniel. Although my cousin's name was Anthony, it reminds me of him – he left the family very suddenly one night, without saying goodbye or even telling us he was going away.
It was a Friday evening, and he had promised to bring me a take-away dinner of barbecue chicken and delicious sides. This is a favourite of Trinidadians, whenever a group or needy cause hold a fundraiser. Barbecue is easy, convincing fare for us and fills the gap well for those not wishing to think of dinner preparation.
I was nine months pregnant and ready to "put-down" as we say in the Caribbean, or deliver my baby soon. My cousin always teased me about the pregnancy and told me that it would be twins, a daunting experience for me as I never went near a newborn, much less two. This pregnancy would be my first child. My cousin never saw my son, as he left us that night for ever.
The melody now is a soothing reminder of the fun we had as children and teenagers, and brings happy memories whenever I hear it or need to hear it. The song does not grow old as it stands still at the time when my cousin left.
He died suddenly, drowning that evening at the beach, trying to save a friend, we were told. We will never see him again on this "plane" but the strains of Daniel live on my heart as a timeless memory of a wonderful soul, who left without saying goodbye. Josephine-Anne Lodge
We love to eat: Chocolate fridge cake
Ingredients
200g milk chocolate
100g dark chocolate
Finely grated zest of half an orange
4 tablespoons golden syrup
175g butter
175g digestive biscuits
125g raisins
100g glace cherries, quartered
75g dark chocolate apricots, finely chopped
Handful of flaked almonds
Put the chocolate (broken up), orange rind, syrup and butter into a bowl. Sit bowl on pan of simmering water, keeping the base of the bowl clear of the water. Melt slowly without stirring. Crush the biscuits (not too finely) in a freezer bag. Place them in a bowl with the raisins, cherries, apricots and almonds. Remove the melted chocolate from heat and stir until smooth. Pour into dry mix and stir. Line an 8in shallow cake tin with clingfilm (lay two bits across in a cross shape then mould down to fit the base, corners, sides, bringing it up over the rim). Pour contents in and spread until even. Refrigerate for two hours once cool.
I learned to cook at home as a child. At the age of two, I was messing about with bread dough, banging out biscuits and stirring up chocolate mix. I loved learning cooking tips from my mum, and the competition with my brother of baking the best cakes. As the youngest of five, I had to make my own place – and that turned out to be in the kitchen. My brother, 10 years older, was my rival-in-chief. He could make a Victoria sponge that always earned him a ridiculous amount of praise from everyone, so naturally I set out to be a better cook.
By the time I was five, I was making cakes and bread. Two years later, I was making roast dinners for the family and starting to appreciate the significance of it all – it's not just about the food, it's about the pleasure of sharing it. That inspired me to write my first cookbook at 14, and four more since then.
Cooking for my three sisters was a bit of a challenge; among them are a vegan and a vegetarian so I had to really stretch my repertoire and find inspiration in the meat-free world.
One of our special treats was chocolate fridge cake. It's CSV's (Community Service Volunteers) Make a Difference Day today and I'd love people to make it with family and friends or take some round to a neighbour, homeless shelter or nursing home to share. Sam Stern
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